A couple of years ago, we had a year of Dolly “Partner.” (That’s what Josh called her when he moved in with us.)
Dolly Partner Parton is one of Josh’s favorite artists. He thinks she’s young. He can’t believe she’s old enough to be his grandmother.
When he first moved in, we would hear him singing in the shower, “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, JOLEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN…”
He would listen to Dolly “Partner” every chance he got. He especially liked her song called “Joshua.” “Coat of Many C0lors” was another favorite. He looked for CD’s at used CD places and yard sales. He hung CD covers on the wall so he could gaze at Ms. Partner.
He dreamed of going on vacation to… you guessed it… Dollywood!
So, a couple of years ago, we had the year of Dolly Partner Parton. Not only did we go to Dollywood (which was somewhat disappointing to my kid because she wasn’t actually living there), but we made sure he got to go to see Dolly live in concert! I saw the ad in the paper, plotted with my hubby, got up early on the day they went on sale to get great tickets online. Since we could only afford two tickets, only one parent could go. But what mattered most was that Josh would get to see his Dolly Partner.
We were all excited when we told him about the live concert. He called his bio mom, and told her, “Yes, I’m going to go get to see her– ALIVE! On the stage!”
Since I’ve never been a huge fan, my husband took Josh to the concert. I regretted it later. I had no idea that she was an accomplished, well-rounded musician. My husband said I would have loved it (and he, being an introvert, would have loved to have quiet time at home).
Anyway, the guys dressed up and left early for dinner. My heart melted seeing them go out for a nice, dream-come-true-evening together. I waited up late that night. I wanted to hear about Josh’s time at the concert, especially since I was the mastermind behind it all (ahem).
Here is how our conversation went:
Me: “How was it?”
Josh: “Fine.”
“What all did she play? Did she sing your favorites?”
“Some of them.”
“Which ones?”
“I don’t remember.”
Silence.
“Well, what was your favorite part about the concert?”
“It was kind of boring. All I did was sit there. But it was okay. Thanks.”
And then he went to bed.
I sat there speechless. His reaction was definitely either unexpectedly disappointing or unexpectedly funny.
I decided on the latter.
My husband told me that Josh really liked the concert, that Dolly could play a million different instruments, and that Josh really was tired. He wasn’t used to being up that late.
The next day Josh told everyone who would listen about the concert. He even said that his stepmom got the tickets and let him go with his dad, and that was really cool.
I learned that living joyfully and peacefully with others, especially those who have autism, usually means letting go of my expectations and accepting what is. And I appreciate when others do the same for me.
Taking advantage of opportunities that come our way and accepting others for who they are– these things definitely lighten my life!
Posted by bbsmum on March 14, 2011 at 4:01 pm
You’re so right! Sometimes BB’s reactions that I think are going to be ecstatic are decidedly underwhelming, but that’s my problem for mistaking the outward expression for the inward feeling. Clever stepmom for organising the treat!
Posted by Autism Mom Rising on May 1, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Happy Blog Gems! I so enjoyed this post. What a loving step mom you are! And I love how you looked for the lesson in it. Very nice.
Posted by Elizabeth G. on May 2, 2011 at 8:31 am
Thank you!
Posted by Jean on May 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm
What a sweet story! I don’t know anyone personally who loves Dolly, but know there are huge fans out there. I would have loves to have the night to myself, in fact, I am really looking forward to when my boys are old enough to go to baseball games and I can stay home! I can’t wait for those peaceful quiet nights to myself.
You are a great mom! He will have that memory forever.
Thanks for participating in Blog Gems.
Posted by Elizabeth G. on May 3, 2011 at 1:40 pm
You’re welcome. I didn’t really have the night to myself, as the other two kids were home, LOL! But it was nice to have a quieter evening.
Posted by todd on May 4, 2011 at 10:09 pm
that’s such a great story. I love Dolly also, I think she is so fun and grounded. I love her famous quote “it takes a lot of money to look this cheap” she is so great and humble for being as accomplished as she is. bravo to you.
Posted by Elizabeth G. on May 5, 2011 at 8:07 am
Yes, I like that quote, too! She is fun and grounded– I’ve learned that from my kid.