From 2013: Back to the old school

Recently I noticed that I had never published this.  So, here it is for your enjoyment!

Life is never boring, is it? We’ve had a rough start to 2013 in our family.

Previously I  blogged about my oldest son’s new school.  We were really excited about the opportunity he had to go to a Christian technical school.

Turns out that the school just wasn’t a good fit.

Don’t get me wrong– I think that they were doing a great job, and were doing everything they could to assist our oldest and to help him be successful.   Our son is not the easiest person in the world to get along with sometimes, especially if you are in authority over him.  It just wasn’t working out.

Today we had a meeting to get him enrolled in the public high school.  Yep, back to the Panthers!  I was encouraged, because the staff truly seemed happy to have him back.  We hammered out his schedule, came up with new strategies, and breathed a sigh of relief.

I hope he has a great rest of the year.  I hope he graduates on schedule– 2014!  And most of all, I hope that he knows that he is in a good place, even if it is not the one that we envisioned.

A friend passed along this quote:  Sometimes when it seems things are falling apart, things are really falling into place.  I am hopeful!

Bye bye 2013…Here’s to 2014

I am so ready for a new start. 2013 was craaaaaazzzzzzzzyyyyyy.  Here’s why, including the good, bad, and the ugly:

1.  Major family crisis, which included 8 months of multi-systemic therapy (MST) for whole family.

2. Oldest son went to private school, then back to public school. Talk about IEP mess.

3.  I began two more direct sales businesses– doTerra and All’asta.  I still do Wildtree.

4.  My scrabble tile jewelry and craft business has taken off.

5.  Another undisclose-able business venture is in the works.

6. Oldest son preparing for post-high school education.

7.  Daughter began going to a charter school, which is oriented toward gifted kids.  It’s been a challenge adjusting, for all of us.  We really miss our neighborhood school, but she is in the right place.

8. I had one of the most challenging classes of my “career” teaching part time at a local college.  So challenging, I was tempted to quit.

9.  I had the amazing experience of being the guest speaker at an event for special needs moms / caregivers / wives.

10.  My hubby and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon!  Then we came back and celebrated 14 years of marriage!  Thanks be to God for my parents, who we flew up from OK to watch our kiddos, and to the three support people who came in to check and make sure everything was okay!  (We had made the arrangements, and then a week later the family crisis hit.)

So, good by 2013… to the good, bad, and the ugly.  And hello, 2014, and all your goodness, badness, and ugliness.  For my next post I will share with you my goals and hopes for 2014.

Happy New Year!

Have you ever eaten a flower?

818531_daylilyThis was the question my son asked me when my hubby and I finally went on a honeymoon in Hawaii.  We called him from eating lunch in Kailua.  (Aaaah.)

Serendipity:  As soon as he asked me this, my food came and an edible orchid was on my plate.  I told him about it, then I had my husband take a picture of me eating it and texted it to our boy.  The orchid tasted like red cabbage.  Not bad!

I was definitely the cool mom then!

For the next few weeks, every time we went to a garden shop, home store, or even a garden he asked the store workers, “Where are the flowers were that I can eat?”

I discovered that dandelion flowers were edible.  So, before we sprayed our yard (Yeah, I know… chemicals), we tasted one.  Tasted like… nothing.

Then I discovered that yellow daylily blooms were edible.  So we each tried a petal from one that was blooming in our yard.  Again… tasted like nothing.

Recently, I harvested a basil stem from my garden. I put it on my kitchen window sill in a glass votive candle holder filled with water to keep it fresh.   I was pleasantly surprised when it rooted and grew! Hooray!  The basil began to bloom, so I  let my boy taste a flower from my baby basil plant. It definitely had a taste.

“It’s poison!” he said.

“No, it’s basil,” I said. “We usually eat the leaves.  Here, try a leaf.”

So he did.  And he liked it.  My “Mikey” is trying new things!

Later, my son calls to me, “Mom, are the stems edible?”

“Yep!” I call back.

A few minutes later I walk into the kitchen to get my baby basil plant and transplant it into the garden.  The glass it was in is empty.  I look in the trash. I can’t find it anywhere.

“Hey, have you seen my basil plant?”

“Yep.  I ate it.”

“The whole plant???”

“Yep, you said it was edible, mom!”

“Did you like it?”

“Yep!”

Guess I have to start watching my garden more closely.  I may walk out and the basil “bush” that it out there may just be gone.

I want a reset button

Recently I was asked to speak at a day of pampering for moms / wives of people with special needs.  One thing I shared that I wish I had a reset button when life gets crazy and I feel like an overloaded circuit.  Here’s my 10 ten ways that I  “reset” when life is just so stressful that I want to scream.

10. Chocolate!!!! Enough said!

9.  Eat an apple.  I can get good brain food, fiber for my body, keep the doctor away, and pretend I’m biting someone’s head off all at the same time!

8. Do 20 Jumping Jacks.  It gets my heart pumping, burns off anxiety adrenaline, and no one gets hurt in the process. May even help to burn off the chocolate.

7. Clean out a closet / drawer / cabinet.  Feels good to release the junk and see a clean space!

6. Retail therapy.  Using coupons and deals, of course! Great way to fill up that closet / drawer / cabinet I just cleaned out.

5.  Read a book.  Let me escape into someone else’s dysfunction for a while.  Makes my life not seem so bad.

4. Laugh!

3.  Call my mom.  She has to listen to me because I’m her daughter.  Plus she’s cheaper than therapy.

2.  Time alone with my husband.  Ooo lala!  Need I say more?

And number 1:

1. Take time to refresh, rejuvenate, and reconnect with God.  God provides the divine reset!

“Resetting” is important for everyone, especially those of us who deal with different abilities every day.  So how do you reset in your life?

My Jill of all trades life

Life has been very interesting lately!

We had a family crisis at the beginning of the year, and are still readjusting.  We had hospitalizations, therapy, and emotional phone calls. Despite it all, my kids are doing great, and my family is still wonderfully intact!

In the midst of everything, I have found several ways to do “self therapy.”  As I’ve written before, I am a Wildtree representative, and we just got our organic certification.  I have been having tasting parties, relaxing, getting some extra income, and making friends.  My support system has multiplied!

I also went to a doTerra class, and learned about essential oils.  I wanted the vitamins, and to get them economically I had to pay a membership fee… which means I’m a rep for doTerra now.  LOL!  I have already discovered these wonderful oil blends that helped my kiddos sleep and really made a difference in their behavior at church today. I’ve found a blend that helped me deal with a stressful situation yesterday.   Hooray!

So, I do Wildtree, doTerra… and now I’m making jewelry out of scrabble tiles.  I’m having fun! It’s like therapy for me.  I can make tile jewelry rather quickly, and it’s almost like an immediate gratification project.  I’ve actually sold some!

My autism awareness scrabble tile pendants

My autism awareness scrabble tile pendants

I’m also possibly doing aromatherapy pendants.  At the doTerra class I was asked if I could make some, and I’m experimenting.

I’ve done some public speaking. I’ve mentioned before that I’m also an ordained pastor in the United Methodist Church.  I was able to fill in for a friend during Holy Week– I did three services over Easter.  I also spoke to a group of moms of kiddos with autism and other special needs in February. Maybe I’ll post that sometime… I got some great laughs and was able to help other moms “reset” that day

.

I kind of like my Jill of all trades life.  It fits my adhd tendencies.  I have a  feeling I may never “get rich” with so many thing to “focus” on, but I am having fun.  I’m meeting the most incredible people.  Most of all, I feel that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now, and that helps me see the “lighter side” of our lives with autism.

Something wrong with my brain

My friends told me I just have to blog about this.

The week before the school’s winter break, my son was obsessing about the xBox controller.  We had lost it.  Here’s a sample of our conversation (while I was cooking dinner, of course):

Mom: “I don’t know where the controller is!  Play a Kinect game… you don’t need the controller.  Your body is the controller.”

Middle Guy: “But you said I could play whatever game I want and I want to play Lego Starwars and that’s not on kinect so I don’t want to play kinect and you said I could play whatever I want.”

“I know you want to play Starwars-”

“So let me have the controller!”
“-and I don’t know where the controller is, so you can choose a kinect game!”

“But you said I could play whatever game I want and I want to play Lego Starwars and that’s not on kinect so I don’t want to play kinect and you said I could play whatever I want!  Why did you change your mind?”

“I didn’t change my mind, we just can’t find the controller.  So your options are playing a Kinect game or reading or going outside.”

“But I don’t want to play a Kinect game, I want to play Lego Star Wars and….” and over and over and over.

Finally, I said, “I’m done. You know your options.”

Silence.  Then, he asked me, “Did you change your brain?”

That’s what he was saying at the time rather than “change your mind.”  At first I considered saying, “No, I just can’t find the controller,” but it would have started all over and escalated.  So I just said, “Yes.”

Mistake.

“You mean there is something wrong with your brain?”

“If losing the controller means that there is something wrong with my brain, then yes, I suppose so.”

Heavy and loud stimming ensued.  He was vocalizing “Eeeeeeeeeeee” so loudly I couldn’t think. So, I sent him outside to stim, which is a common thing to do at our house.  Glad we have understanding neighbors.

I could hear him so I knew he was nearby, so I wasn’t worried.  (The bright side of stims!)  I put dinner in oven and sat down to take a break.

I heard my son open the door to come back in the house.  Then he said, “Yes, she’s in here!”

A deep male voice said, “In here?”

“Yes!”

I ran to the door.  My middle guy was standing there with a tall, big, african american guy wearing US Marines cap.  I looked at him in surprise.

“May I help you?” I asked.

“Oh, ma’am, I’m sorry… your son was out in the middle of the street and he flagged me down.  He said he needed help… that that was something wrong with your brain.”

“Oh really… well, everything’s okay.  I’m so sorry…”

“I apologize ma’am…” he mumbled something about an aneurism…

“Thank you for stopping and caring… I’m sorry my son bothered you… ”

“No problem, you have a good night.”

“Thanks.”

Big marine guy left.

Middle guy was standing there giggling.  I sent him to his room.

How embarrassing!

So, where did I find the humor?  Well, in the whole situation, after the fact.  Hindsight can be humorous.

Where did I find gratitude?  I found it in the fact that the man wasn’t a serial criminal of some kind who just came into my house.  And that my son didn’t get run over.

And where did I find the hope?  In the fact that my son knows how to flag down help if he needs it.

Now to teach him when it is appropriate to flag down that help!

Words

I originally posted this in December 2010 when I started this blog.  I wanted to share it again for Thanksgiving.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

“I am thankful for making words.”

I read this and froze in my tracks. My son wrote this on his construction paper “leaf” at school for Thanksgiving 2010.

I began to remember all the times we wondered if he’d ever speak to us.  I remembered when he was three years old and, putting him to bed one night, he said, “I love you” to me for the first time.  I cried, and told my husband and called my friends and family, even though it was late.

I recalled how we used to not give him anything he wanted, putting everything out of his reach, until he would say the word for the item.

I remembered how his only words were echolalic terms.  He would only repeat or “script” words from movies, books, and songs.  I remembered how happy I was when he told me the first time, “I want…. Daddy?”, as if he were unsure he could want Daddy.  I remember (as does my husband) how I unlocked the bathroom door where Daddy was… um… busy… because Philip used a complete sentence and expressed that he wanted someone he couldn’t see for the first time!  Philip stayed in the bathroom with Daddy until Daddy was done.

I remembered how we slowly and painstakingly helped him ask questions and request what he wanted, how we used and are using sentence starters to help him have conversations with friends, how we role played before social situations what he could say when someone asked him such things as “How are you?  Do you like school? What grade are you in? How old are you now?”

And, more recently, I remembered with tears in my eyes how happy I was when I asked my husband if he would put Philip to bed and Philip said, “Daddy, tell Mommy no.”  How he answered me now when I asked him how his day was or what he wanted for dinner.

Philip wrote, I am thankful for making words.

I am thankful, too.

Family Favorites

Weeks before Thanksgiving, I asked my family how they wanted to celebrate.  Seemed like all of my nearby family and friends were going elsewhere and my far-away family wasn’t coming this year.  It was going to be us 5.  My vote: go out to eat.  Well, I was outvoted.  I was amazed to hear that it just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving for my family without a turkey dinner at home.  Sigh.

So, the day before the big day, I began to cook.  I made the pumpkin pie filling, chopped the veggies for the stuffing, brined the turkey, made the dough for the biscuits.  Then, as we were running errands, my middle guy asked me who was coming for Thanksgiving dinner.  When I replied that no one was coming, he asked where we were going.  I told him we were staying home and having the turkey dinner that everyone wanted.

Mayhem ensued.  My  middle guy and my girl were very adamant that they never said they wanted to stay home.  (What?)

Then my middle guy surprised me.  He asked me why we couldn’t call Uncle E. and Uncle R. and see if they could come over.

I explained to him that his uncles, aunts, and cousins had other plans.  He said, “Well, maybe we could just go to Uncle R’s house.” Again, I explained they had other plans.

My son has never seemed to care one way or another about holiday guests and family.  I just chalked it up to his autism.  I was impressed that he wanted to connect with others.

But then my son really shocked me.  He said, “Uncle R. likes me the most.”  That was odd. To my knowledge, my son has never had a real conversation with Uncle R.  I asked him how he knew that Uncle R. liked him the most.

“Because, every time Uncle R. sees me, he says, “Hi, Philip!'”

I learned something today. Whether or not it seems like it, my son notices who takes time to acknowledge him, who seems happy to see him, and cares about his family. This gives me hope: hope that he will have meaningful relationships outside of his nuclear family and hope that he might learn to reciprocate.

And it breaks my heart a little, because it means he also most likely notices when he is ignored, which happens a lot, because on the outside, it seems like he’s in his own world or content just to flap his hands and say “Eeeee” over and over.  It also means that I’ve been discounting him just a little.  How much else has he noticed that I just assumed he didn’t?

I am so thankful that my boy cares and loves.  Now to foster those family relationships…

Happy Thankgiving!

Update: If that Makes me a Liberal Addict…

Just wanted to make my readers aware that the house resolution did pass… the copays have been postponed until the matter is studied further. Hooray! Click here to read the article.

Free Printables and Resources for Autism

From time to time I come across resources that I find are helpful.  So here’s a link for you. I think it’s pretty neat, myself:

Free Printables and Resources for Autism.