At 7:30 AM, my son’s learning support teacher called. My son, P, was very upset and crying. She was concerned, as this was the second time she had seen him cry in three years. He said he would feel better if he could talk to me.
The issue: his older brother M did not wear a coat to school. (Also, another kid reported that M and another student hitting P while on the school bus. So she was going to report my older son and this other kid for bullying on the school bus. But P. was mainly upset about the coat issue.)
Sigh.
As my husband listened in, I consoled my boy. Here’s a snippet of our conversation.:
Me: Hi, sweetie, what’s wrong? You were crying?
P: Yes. M. did not wear a coat to school! And Dad told him to. He needs to listen.
Me: He didn’t wear his coat? And that upset you? Well, he does that sometimes. It’s his decision. It’s weird, but it happens.
P: Yeah.
Me: I’ll have Dad talk to him about it, ok?
P: Ok.
Me: Was M hitting you on the bus, sweetie?
P: Yes.
Me: And who else?
P: “Jake.” (name changed)
Me: We’ll take care of that too.
P: Ok.
Me: Is there anything else? Do you feel better?
P: I feel better now.
Me: Ok, sweetie. You have a good day. You can start your day over right now, ok? I love you.
P: I love you too, mom. Bye.
My husband and I looked at each other and took a deep breath and sighed. My husband said, “Oh, boy.” I shook my head. We were upset by the bullying and that P. didn’t report it himself. P. was upset by the coat. So there’s two life lessons that P. needs to learn: letting people make their own decisions and standing up for himself.
I am so grateful that other students were looking out for P. I’m grateful for an understanding teacher. I’m most of all grateful for a son who knows that he can call me if he has a problem and for teachable moments. And this gives me hope.
Autism From the Lighter Side 