Trouble again

We had to go pick up my oldest early because he got in trouble at school–again.  He did the same thing that he was expelled for last semester.  Out of respect for his privacy, I won’t share what that was.  I will share that we’re disappointed that it happened again, and that he received another three-day out-of-school suspension.

And yes, he was in the wrong.  And no, we won’t let his autism be an excuse– he knows better.

I said “we”, when actually it was my husband (his Dad) who went to get him.  I needed to think about how to respond.

I did find the lighter side in this.  Rather than throwing a tantrum or blaming when he arrived home, he said that he had a “stressful day” and that he was “mad at [himself].” He’s starting to take responsibility. That’s great progress! For that, I’m proud of him.  I hope it is enough to help him stop and think before he acts next time.

I’m also proud of my husband and myself for not yelling or threatening eternal banishment to the room of doom (his bedroom).  I noticed that I didn’t take his actions personally, either– I’m differentiating!

This does mean some tough days ahead.  For every week that he doesn’t get in trouble at school, he earns two hours of computer time during the weekend. He won’t like not getting his computer time.

We used to keep the school and home consequences separate.  We quickly discovered that he needed the continuity. His behavior escalated at school when there were no home consequences.

For you parents out there with teenagers who get in trouble at school, how do you respond?  Do you punish at home for things done at school?  Or do you keep the two separate?

I’m hoping for more restraint on our part and more responsibility on his.  I am hopeful that he will become a responsible adult.

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