Last school year, my daughter Meg got off the bus one day and looked a little dejected.
She said, “Margie (not her real name) says that Philip’s brain doesn’t work.”
I said, “What?”
“Margie says that Philip’s brain doesn’t work.”
“What do you think?”
“His brain does work.”
“How did it make you feel when Margie said that?”
“Sad and mad.”
“What do you think you could do next time?”
We then began to discuss how Philip’s brain does work, it just works differently. I was all prepared to move on from this incident until she came home again with the same story. I talked to Margie’s mom, and she said she didn’t know where that came from. She said that her explanation is always that people with special needs think differently. (Margie’s mom is trustworthy, and I believed her and still do.)
End of story. Or so I thought.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I had Meg and Margie in the car, and Margie once again noted how Philip’s brain doesn’t work.
I said, “Oh, his brain does work.”
She asked, “Does it work at home? Because at school it doesn’t.”
I went on to describe all of the things that Philip can do… math whiz, musical genius, excellent reader, etc.
Then I said, “His brain just works differently.”
“Oh.”
Meg then jumped in and shared all these wonderful things about her brother.
I hope that Meg learned a little bit about about how to advocate. Advocating for my son and others who are different doesn’t mean going on the attack. To me, advocating means speaking the truth, and educating others on what’s really going on. As in, my son is smart. He just communicates it in a different way.
Posted by bbsmum on February 2, 2011 at 2:45 am
Nicely handled! Everyone learned, nobody was ‘put down’. Well done you, definitely well done Meg!
Posted by ehgivler on February 2, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Thanks! It’s always a challenge, but I’m finding that patience and remaining calm are my best strategies. At least in the moment! 🙂